And to get Fido dressed for the big game, how about a doggie football jersey so you can share your team spirit?

Ready? Set? PLAY!

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October is Adopt-A-Dog month, a celebration established by the American Humane Association to promote dog adoptions from animal shelters and educate people about responsible pet care. Learn more about events in your area here.

And just in time for Adopt-A-Dog month, Disney’s new film, Beverly Hills Chihuahua hits theaters October 3. The film is about Chloe, a spoiled Chihuahua who finds herself lost on the streets of Mexico, where she makes interesting friends and has all sorts of adventures. The film features the voices of George Lopez and Drew Barrymore, among others, as well as Piper Perabo and Jamie Lee Curtis. To learn more about the film or find out where it’s playing near you, click here.

Lastly, I was recently invited to co-host the Lucky Dog Show, where I tried to keep up with host Lisa Woody as we discussed legal issues pertaining to dogs. We’ll call it my 60 minutes of fame, and I have to say I had fun! To listen to the show, click here.

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We have a joke in our house that our dog, Greta, isn’t the brightest bulb because she often does silly things. But is that her personality, or is she really a bit of an airhead?

According to Stanley Coren, psychology professor at the University of British Columbia and a best-selling author of The Intelligence of Dogs, dogs display intelligence by reading social cues, learning new tasks, understanding language and solving problems.

Here’s what the experts say you can do if you’re curious about your dog’s IQ.

Problem Solving:
Hide something your dog loves underneath a sofa, and see if it can figure out how to retrieve the object. Score five points for getting the item with its paws in less than 30 seconds; four points if it uses paws and takes more than 30 seconds; three if it uses paws but fails; two if it uses its head but doesn’t try paws, and one point for dogs that try to use their head but then give up. It gets no points if it does nothing.

Learning Rate:
How many times do you have to repeat a task with your dog before he/she masters it? Try the detour-taking test. Find a fence that your dog can see through with a gate open at one end. With you on the other side of the fence, call your dog and see whether it can figure out how to get around to the other side. Score five points if it goes around the fence in a minute or less; four points if it succeeds right away after you take a few steps in that direction and gesture; three if it succeeds in 30 seconds after the prompts; two if it succeeds between 30-60 seconds after prompts, and one if it succeeds but requires even more prompting and time than that.

Social Cues:
Try the smile test to see how smart your dog is at picking up social cues from humans. Start with your pet sitting a few yards away from you. Stare at your pet’s face. Once you make eye contact, count to three and then smile very broadly. Score five points for coming to you with its tail wagging; four points for coming part way; three points for standing or rising; two points for moving; and one if he/she pays no attention at all.

Inference Challenge:
In this version of the shell game, with your dog on a leash or in the stay position, use treats and two different bowls set a few feet apart. Smear the treat on both bowls. Then very dramatically put the treat underneath one bowl. Release your pet and see what happens. Repeat this 10 times changing which bowl you put the treat under. Repeat another 10 times without letting your dog see where you’re stashing the treat, but DO let the pup see you enthusiastically lift the other bowl up each time. Score five points if the dog goes to the correct bowl and gets the treat each time; four points if it masters the first 10 and improves over the course of the second 10; three if the first set is perfect but not the second set; two if the dog improves during the first and second rounds; and one if the dog is initially not very good but improves over the first round and completes the second round by going to the bowl you lifted.

Language Comprehension:
Start with your dog sitting in front of you. Using the tone of voice you use to call your dog’s name, call “refrigerator.” Try this again, calling “movies.” Score five points if the dog doesn’t respond to those words but comes after you call its name; four points if the dog comes the second time you call its name; three if the dog starts to come; two if the dog comes to “movies” but not “refrigerator”; and one if the dog simply doesn’t come to any of the calls.

Your Dog’s Score
Gifted and Talented (25-31)
Clever Canine (18-25)
Sharp, But Slow (10-18)
Doggie Dropout (Less than 10)

Greta scored in the (low) “clever” range. How smart is your dog?

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Anyone who remembers Cujo (1983), which was based on the novel of the same name by Stephen King, probably remembers a lot of snarling, foaming at the mouth, and general mean-dogged-ness.

But what sticks out in my mind is the fact that Cujo’s owner let the poor dog run wild, and the pooch subsequently got bit by a rabid bat.

Had Cujo been properly vaccinated and not allowed to run loose, the film might have gone something like this:

Enter Cujo, on leash, with owner.

Cujo sniffs at wood pile, out flies rabid bat.

Owner screams, Cujo barks, bat flies off.

The end.

It may not pack the same punch as the original film did, but I think my version is a win-win for everyone.

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My husband and I are planning a couple of short vacations in the next few weeks, both of which we’re bringing our greyhound, Greta, on, and one of which we’re also bringing my mother in law on.

For that trip, the four of us will be crammedcarefully placed in our mid-size car, which will also be packed to the gills with vacation paraphernalia.

Among the many accouterments Greta will need: collapsible crate, crate pad, bed, bowls, food (both dry and canned pumpkin, organic yogurt), poop bags, toys, blanket and extra towels for dirty paws.

When I started going through the list of things we had to bring for Greta alone, my husband looked at me and said, “Man, this is like taking a kid on vacation!”

I guess he expected we would be able to deflate Greta, fold her up, pack her in the trunk, then, when we arrived at our destination, blow her back up?

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No more bad hair days for Fifi or Fido!

Ruth Regina, wigmaker to the stars, also designs hairpieces for dogs. Her famous braids, curls and extensions can also be dyed, highlighted and styled to order for canines in need of a new ‘do.

Regina, an eighth-generation wigmaker, was the wig master and make-up artist for “The Jackie Gleason Show”. She was also in charge of beauty for the Miss Universe pageant from 1959-72.

Her wig shop, located in Bay Harbor Islands, boasts pictures of her with stars such as Judy Garland and Marisa Tomei.

For more information, click here.

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Although I’d love to take credit for this hilarious idea, I have to give credit where credit is due…unfortunately, I can’t, because I got this via a chain email, and it was written by “anonymous”. Anonymous, whoever you are, this is so spot-on it’s scary.

DOG DIARY
8:00 am – Dog food!  My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride!  My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park!  My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted!  My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Lunch!  My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard!  My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail!  My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Milk bones!  My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball!  My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow!  Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed!  My favorite thing!

CAT DIARY
Day 983 of my captivity:
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. 

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. 

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

This morning I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.
 
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. 

For now…
Cat

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